You know what really sucks? Feeling like the friend no one cares about enough to stay in touch with. The one that no one makes the effort to invite to events or places or to just hang out. This is one thing I fucking hate about university. You go off to a place where you know absolutely no one, and all your close friends go off some place else and then completely replace you. I understand that people grow up and their circle expands, but the people who I have been close friends with for four years seem to not give a shit. It's nice to know that they all go to the same school now, while I am utterly alone. I don't connect with anyone at my school. No one. I mean, I'm not like a loner; I talk to people, I just haven't had that connection, you know? I could be myself with all my old friends. They got me. They were my nerd herd, and I can't replace that. I don't even connect to any of the theatre majors. Now, I always see pictures on facebook of all my friends hanging out together, or statuses saying they're hanging out or blah blah blah. All of which I have not received any kind of acknowledgement or invite to. Sometimes I even feel like my best friend Katie is replacing me. Joey never talks to me, and Sadaf has a boyfriend and new friends to hang out with now, so I'm just left in the dust. It also doesn't help that most of my close friends are URL friends, ones that I have yet to meet IRL. Isn't it weird that you can meet people on the internet and feel like you've known them better and longer than you have known most people you've grown up with? It sucks that the majority of them live in other countries. I wish so much to just go and meet them, to hug them, but alas, I am not made of money. One day soon, though, one day soon.
That's all that I have to rant about really, I'm kind of upset. Can you tell? I just feel so alone, all the time. My biggest fear is to be replaced or to lose all the people I love and to be completely alone.
I'm going to stop this depressing blog now.
Good night, DFTBA, and Happy BEDA-ing.
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