Today started out like it usually does: me waking up, way too tired for my own good, then trudging around my room getting ready. I got less than an hour of sleep last night, so, like I always do when I can't sleep, I rearranged the furniture in my room until I become tired. I've changed the position of my bed and things look much more spacious now. I quite like it where it is; I think I'll keep it like this. I'm trying to make room because I'm getting a desk and bookcase soon. Can't wait. I've never owned a desk in my room before. Or a bookcase. I've found a desk that I really really want, and I can't wait.
Well, I surprisingly got to school on time (my time management all depends on how my hair likes me for the day, is that bad?), and when I got to school I walked into my Intro to Theatre class and totally forgot that we had our midterm today. Luckily, I did four years of theatre in high school, and I haven't even opened my theatre textbook and I knew everything on the test. I finished the test in like ten minutes, and then left the class, because we could. I usually have just a 2 hour break in between my theatre and philosophy class, so I usually just hang in my car and read or whatever, but this time it was only 8:20 and my class didn't start until 11. I decided to venture off to a local Borders, because I really want to work there, so I went to ask some one how difficult it is to get a job there and what the process is. I talked to a really nice girl who said it wasn't terribly hard, just that the application process is really long. That got me quite hopeful. I then proceeded to buy John Green's An Abundance of Katherines because it's the only one of his that I have yet to read. I also put my very first secret nerdfighter note in Paper Towns. It felt good. I can't wait for some one to find it. I wrote my youtube channel on the note as well as the Vlogbrothers (John and Hank Green), and I do hope they contact me.
I headed back to school then went to my philosophy class. We've been watching the show Dollhouse in the class, which is fine by me. xD It's actually a good show; I like it.
After school, I hung out with Tiffanie, Sadaf, and Steven. I had fun. :] I haven't seen Tiffanie and Steven in such a long time; I missed them. We hung out at Tiffanie's house and played the game Life, then Super Smash Bros. BRAWL on Wii, which I am finally getting better at. haha. Tiffanie and Steven always gang up on me when we play. Then we went to get Slurpees form the 7/11, which I was craving so much. I had a lot of fun, and I missed my friends so much. Going to different colleges suck sometimes.
Well, I've officially been up for more the 24 hours, and I'm so knackered. I can't keep my eyes opened.
Ta for now.
<3
Showing posts with label John Green. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Green. Show all posts
Monday, October 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
MockingJay, new friends, more school, and loneliness.
Today has been a very "blah" mood. I woke up not feeling well, and my mood has just dampened throughout the day. I've just been irritable, and sad. Every little thing seems to set me off today. I've just been feeling so incredibly lonely. I miss my friends. I have no one to talk to in college. Absolutely no one. In between classes I sit by myself under shaded trees and just read until my next class starts. I just can not seem to make a bond with anyone. I miss my friends. I miss seeing them everyday. I miss sharing jokes and stuff with people who understand. I miss being with people who actually understand me. I hardly see Sadaf anymore, and we're still in the same town. I am so filled with jealousy when people update their statuses/twitter/dailybooth/etc. saying how much of a good time they're having in college I mean, I'm happy for them, but I'm so insanely jealous that they seem to be living it up while I'm stuck at home...not living it up. For merlin's sake, I don't even have friends at my college. There's Heather and Sami, but they're a year and 2 years older than me, and their classes are when I have break. I do have my costuming class with Sami, but that's it. I love Heather and Sami, but we've never really bonded as much as me and my other friends. They're great people, don't get me wrong. I love hanging out with them, but I miss my friends from last year.
And it's not that I even miss high school, because I don't. I hated high school, but I made the most best friends ever.
I feel like I just completely failed myself. I feel like I didn't try hard enough to get away. I feel like I'm going to end up like my mom and stay in this god forsaken hicktown forever, and oh god, everything is just caving down on top of me and I'm gasping desperately for air. My mind has just been trailing off so much lately, and I can hardly make coherent sentences anymore. I hardly talk to anyone anymore. I just keep to myself. Why do I do this?
I miss you. I miss you so much. I'm fooling no one but myself. I miss you. I hate missing something that was, and never will be mine.
I guess I've become so used to the feeling of loneliness, that it's become the only thing I know how to feel. Loneliness and missing you. I guess they go hand in hand.
How am I going to make it out of this labyrinth with my sanity intact? How will I make it out alive? I wonder if I'll meet the same fate as Alaska. Straight and Fast, but will I be the destruction of myself? I fear it, I really do.
Okay, for the sake of depressing anyone who is reading this, I'll talk about the good things about my day.
My copies of MockingJay and Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour, Volume 6 finally arrived in the mail. I've been waiting forever, and now I can finally read MockingJay! I'm so excited, gah. I love The Hunger Games trilogy.
School was nice today. Laid back. I was really exhausted for some reason. I guess feeling ill had something to do with that. My theatre teacher is so funny and always has the best lectures. Today he talked about how much he liked Michael Cera. xD Anyone who likes Michael Cera, I like them. :]
I have recently made a new friend named Vanessa. I seriously think our souls were like, separated from each other at one point in time, because seriously, she is JUST like me. We like all the same stuff, and have all the same thoughts, views, and pretty much agree on everything. She's just fantastic. I met her through Youtube and she lives all the way in Massachusetts, but she's one of the first people to comment on my first video and say how much she likes it and that I should keep it up.:] We talk everyday on Skype. :] She makes videos as well, and has a rad singing voice.
Well, I should be going to bed soon, but I'm not really that tired because I took a small nap today, so I'm going to watch Drop Dead Diva, then read, then maybe bed.
Good night.
And it's not that I even miss high school, because I don't. I hated high school, but I made the most best friends ever.
I feel like I just completely failed myself. I feel like I didn't try hard enough to get away. I feel like I'm going to end up like my mom and stay in this god forsaken hicktown forever, and oh god, everything is just caving down on top of me and I'm gasping desperately for air. My mind has just been trailing off so much lately, and I can hardly make coherent sentences anymore. I hardly talk to anyone anymore. I just keep to myself. Why do I do this?
I miss you. I miss you so much. I'm fooling no one but myself. I miss you. I hate missing something that was, and never will be mine.
I guess I've become so used to the feeling of loneliness, that it's become the only thing I know how to feel. Loneliness and missing you. I guess they go hand in hand.
How am I going to make it out of this labyrinth with my sanity intact? How will I make it out alive? I wonder if I'll meet the same fate as Alaska. Straight and Fast, but will I be the destruction of myself? I fear it, I really do.
Okay, for the sake of depressing anyone who is reading this, I'll talk about the good things about my day.
My copies of MockingJay and Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour, Volume 6 finally arrived in the mail. I've been waiting forever, and now I can finally read MockingJay! I'm so excited, gah. I love The Hunger Games trilogy.
School was nice today. Laid back. I was really exhausted for some reason. I guess feeling ill had something to do with that. My theatre teacher is so funny and always has the best lectures. Today he talked about how much he liked Michael Cera. xD Anyone who likes Michael Cera, I like them. :]
I have recently made a new friend named Vanessa. I seriously think our souls were like, separated from each other at one point in time, because seriously, she is JUST like me. We like all the same stuff, and have all the same thoughts, views, and pretty much agree on everything. She's just fantastic. I met her through Youtube and she lives all the way in Massachusetts, but she's one of the first people to comment on my first video and say how much she likes it and that I should keep it up.:] We talk everyday on Skype. :] She makes videos as well, and has a rad singing voice.
Well, I should be going to bed soon, but I'm not really that tired because I took a small nap today, so I'm going to watch Drop Dead Diva, then read, then maybe bed.
Good night.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
First Impressions, the "after life", and an incredible girl named Esther.
(I know this is late, but it's been a long day and I took an extremely long nap.)
This is probably going to be short because I'm still tired, but yeah, here goes my day.
Today in theatre, the teacher wanted us to assemble ourselves into two lines in alphabetical order, while he waited outside until we were done. Now, there were 60 of us, so you can imagine that it was quite hard to manage two lines in a tiny class room. And, as most experiences in life goes, there will always be that one person who tries to take control of the situation. She seemed harmless at first, you know. just trying to get us in order, but then she started barking orders, and made the situation much more difficult than it actually was. I mean, come on, alphabetical lines. I think we know the alphabet and how to make lines by now. But the fact that people already made the assumption that they did not want to listen to her because she seemed like she was going to be the diva of the class, made me think about how important first impressions really are. Now, I'm not going to say "Oh god, I can't stand that girl" because it's only been the second day of class, though, I can say that as of now I'm not very keen to her. Who knows though. The year just has to unfold. Maybe she could genuinely be an okay person, but today her first impression on the class wasn't very great, and that's what people immediately make assumptions on. I like the fact of getting to know people, but even if I don't quite like the first impression I get of them, I will still have a slight resistance towards them. We all do it. I do think first impressions are important because it's the foundation of new relationships.
Later, in Philosophy, we discussed Plato's Phaedo and about Socrates views on death and how he sees the afterlife. Talking about the afterlife is kind of a touchy subject, because it goes along the lines on whether you have religious beliefs, and what you think of about the after life. But he made us just write for about ten minutes about our views on the afterlife, and if we believe in it or not, and why we do. I wrote quite a lot about it for it being only ten minutes, but yeah, I do believe in some type of after life. I think our souls have been sort of recycled, and that our views, beliefs, and relationships with people all have to do with our past experiences. Anyway, yeah, I don't want to get that much into that, because it all depends on personal belief, but I quite enjoy Philosophy already.
Now, lastly, I want to talk about a brilliant, young girl named Esther. I unfortunately have never had the opportunity to know Esther Earl personally, but she was so involved in the online community that I'm involved in, that it was hard NOT to know who Esther was. And now, even more unfortunately, I won't ever get the chance to personally meet Esther, because yesterday morning, August 25th, around 5 a.m., dear Esther passed away after battling cancer. She was 16. Esther was, without a doubt, an incredibly special, intelligent, lively, brave, loving, and magnificent person, and she will be truly missed. Esther was a huge part of the Nerdfighter community, and all Nerdfighters knew who she was, and couldn't help but love her. She never made having cancer the defining factor of her life, and she did all she possibly could to fight to decrease world suck. With Esther, the Nerdfighter community took matters into our own hands to vote for the non-profit charity organisation called the HP Alliance to win $250,000 in the Chase Community Challenge, which they did. Esther gave us the push, and because of her, world suck decreased. She helped run one of my favourite tumblr blogs, EffYeahNerdfighters!, as well as always putting a smile on my face when I watched her Youtube channel. Esther Earl, our wands are raised in respect for you. We will never Forget To Be Awesome, because that's what you would have wanted. Rest in Awesome, we will never forget you. As Kayley(owlssayhooot) quoted the great Albus Dumbledore in this video,"The ones we love never truly love us."
If you want to learn more about Esther, you should watch Kayley's video, watch this awesome video that John Green made with/about Esther back in July, read her blog here, and a beautiful post about her written here on The Leaky Cauldron website. If you do read any of those, especially her blog which her family has been updating now, please leave awesome, loving comments for her family.
This is probably going to be short because I'm still tired, but yeah, here goes my day.
Today in theatre, the teacher wanted us to assemble ourselves into two lines in alphabetical order, while he waited outside until we were done. Now, there were 60 of us, so you can imagine that it was quite hard to manage two lines in a tiny class room. And, as most experiences in life goes, there will always be that one person who tries to take control of the situation. She seemed harmless at first, you know. just trying to get us in order, but then she started barking orders, and made the situation much more difficult than it actually was. I mean, come on, alphabetical lines. I think we know the alphabet and how to make lines by now. But the fact that people already made the assumption that they did not want to listen to her because she seemed like she was going to be the diva of the class, made me think about how important first impressions really are. Now, I'm not going to say "Oh god, I can't stand that girl" because it's only been the second day of class, though, I can say that as of now I'm not very keen to her. Who knows though. The year just has to unfold. Maybe she could genuinely be an okay person, but today her first impression on the class wasn't very great, and that's what people immediately make assumptions on. I like the fact of getting to know people, but even if I don't quite like the first impression I get of them, I will still have a slight resistance towards them. We all do it. I do think first impressions are important because it's the foundation of new relationships.
Later, in Philosophy, we discussed Plato's Phaedo and about Socrates views on death and how he sees the afterlife. Talking about the afterlife is kind of a touchy subject, because it goes along the lines on whether you have religious beliefs, and what you think of about the after life. But he made us just write for about ten minutes about our views on the afterlife, and if we believe in it or not, and why we do. I wrote quite a lot about it for it being only ten minutes, but yeah, I do believe in some type of after life. I think our souls have been sort of recycled, and that our views, beliefs, and relationships with people all have to do with our past experiences. Anyway, yeah, I don't want to get that much into that, because it all depends on personal belief, but I quite enjoy Philosophy already.
Now, lastly, I want to talk about a brilliant, young girl named Esther. I unfortunately have never had the opportunity to know Esther Earl personally, but she was so involved in the online community that I'm involved in, that it was hard NOT to know who Esther was. And now, even more unfortunately, I won't ever get the chance to personally meet Esther, because yesterday morning, August 25th, around 5 a.m., dear Esther passed away after battling cancer. She was 16. Esther was, without a doubt, an incredibly special, intelligent, lively, brave, loving, and magnificent person, and she will be truly missed. Esther was a huge part of the Nerdfighter community, and all Nerdfighters knew who she was, and couldn't help but love her. She never made having cancer the defining factor of her life, and she did all she possibly could to fight to decrease world suck. With Esther, the Nerdfighter community took matters into our own hands to vote for the non-profit charity organisation called the HP Alliance to win $250,000 in the Chase Community Challenge, which they did. Esther gave us the push, and because of her, world suck decreased. She helped run one of my favourite tumblr blogs, EffYeahNerdfighters!, as well as always putting a smile on my face when I watched her Youtube channel. Esther Earl, our wands are raised in respect for you. We will never Forget To Be Awesome, because that's what you would have wanted. Rest in Awesome, we will never forget you. As Kayley(owlssayhooot) quoted the great Albus Dumbledore in this video,"The ones we love never truly love us."
If you want to learn more about Esther, you should watch Kayley's video, watch this awesome video that John Green made with/about Esther back in July, read her blog here, and a beautiful post about her written here on The Leaky Cauldron website. If you do read any of those, especially her blog which her family has been updating now, please leave awesome, loving comments for her family.
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